Sleeping by you
softly shut eye
Dreaming of
love with you
night passed by
Light creeps upon us
Gentle touch of lips
felt on chest
The morning rises
grateful for every kiss.
Rising from bed
stretching arms
extending to you
then snoozing alarm
for you to continue
Fingertips glide
slowly away
Parting from you
the most strength
used all day.
Alright the second revision takes a lot of thought but as you can see I've read through my first draft then changed the wording I didn't like. Then I added some consistency to the meaning of the poem.
Thoughts of you
bring tears to eye
Love for you
happiness inside
Gentle touch of lips
to my chest
In morning wake
grateful each time
kiss is placed.
Rise from bed
stretching arms
extending to you
then snooze alarm
Fingertips glide
slowly away
Parting from you
the most strength
used all day.
I think that the first four lines of the poem are weak. I want to revise them. I think they are cliche. These are the types of words I used to get going because it's easy and then I see where my mind takes me.
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