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Saturday, January 30, 2016

Caged Free Eggs

What is the big fucking deal with cage free eggs? Why is everybody so concerned with the happiness of the chicken? The chicken is a stupid fucking bird. Do you really think it is walking around the hen house saying, “Man ladies you are really encroaching on my personnel space this is some bullshit.”

In reality the caged chicken is happy as shit. It’s sitting on that roost thing no predators, no one’s fucking with me, shit I’ll just stay here. Give me some more fucking bird feed fattin’ me up, I like it!!!

I don’t have time in my day to worry about the plight of the fucking chicken. The motherfucker in the cage is happy anyway. So shut the fuck up with your moral superiority because I could give a fuck that you pay 50 cents more than me for your dozen at the grocery store.

This is a joke.  Some of you are wound too tightly to laugh at this and are going to come down on me.  I get it but understand you're annoying.  You're not going to win anyone over by being annoying.  Try this, "Hey these taste better let me buy you a dozen."

Saturday, January 16, 2016


Feet placed one in front of the other.
The furious pace kept under wobbly legs.
Lights flicker red and blue with howling sounds.
All blurred by my beating heart.

Gravel crushed against pavement.
A corner turned unexpectedly.
Links of metal clink musically.
The hunt ends the beat fades.