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Monday, August 18, 2014

The Hermit

Some search for beauty
others a kindred soul
Alone waiting contently
searching for no one, nothing

Survey my hand and I brush
my path quickly aside
Clutching my hidden soul
within in a clenched fist

Hidden from discovery
fist ready to strike
A final protection
to ward off words.

From discovered seclusion
my heart driven within
Quivering not to rejection...
Dreaded me, loathes you

Out-casting myself
I outcast others from me
To let be
Let me be.

Alright I hope to be showing continuous improvement to this poem.  I submitted this for critique on Peots of G+.  So I have this is actually the fourth revision of this poem.  I show two below.

Some search for beauty
others a kindred soul
Alone waiting contently
Searching for no one
Survey my hand
Drifting quickly aside
Clutching to my soul
Hidden in a clenched fist
Fist ready to strike
Fearing discovery of me
Fly away socialites
Talking to snare prey
Secluded heart drive within
Mentally avoiding the hunt
Dreading me, loathing you
Quivering not to rejection
Out-casting myself
Others outcast from me

Revision from the below.  Which is more meaningful?

Some people search for those who have beauty,
others search for those with a corresponding soul.
I stand alone waiting contently by in search of no one.
When one comes to survey my hand I drift quickly aside,
clutching to my soul hiding it in a clenched fist ready to strike.
Fearing those who seek to find out what is inside.
I fly away from the socialites of my day for
I know their talk is used to snare their prey.
Secluded in my heart, I elude, driven within my mind I avoid the hunt.
Dreading the person who I am, and loathing the person you are.
I don't quiver in the face of rejection from my fellow man.
My wish is to be outcast as I have others outcast from me.

I was born shy but I really consider myself an extrovert.  Sometimes I disguise who I am with humor but I can't peg down why I took the perspective I did with this short.  I'm also considering changing the title.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this George! Enjoyed; respect the attitude. I am become a contrarily gregarious hermit by choice myself, and I am finding my slow initiation into being alone quite...acceptable.