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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Nadiya is Here

When you were born I thought I would cry and it would be a beautiful moment.  Instead I almost shit myself.  I was absolute chaos.  Momma looked beat up and you were blue gray with your head looking like you'd been beaten with a sack of hammers.  I was terrified and only wanted to tell know that you and Jenny were okay.

Instead the doctor grabbed my attention to cut the umbilical cord and the chaos continued.  You were stripped from your mother.  We won't even talked about what was going on with your mother and nurses seemed like they were clashing into each other.  In hind sight it was all well orchestrated but in the moment I felt like I was gonna be hit by a freight train.

The nurses took you to a table tested your vitals and then gave me an Apgar score.  You got an 8.9.  I didn't expect a score that high and didn't expect a number to be the relieve my anxiety.  By the way a good bit of research for father's who are expecting.  I knew babies above an eight are considered good to go.

Mom was happy but I had seen the miracle and stress of what she had just been through.  So my focus and admiration turned towards her.   For the next few hours a rush of family and friends plowed through the birth suite.  You were quiet and polite the entire time we had visitors. 

Once, the nurses, family and friends all cleared out.  The stress was over, it was time to sleep.  You started with a fuss that quickly turned to a cry but it wasn't enough to wake your mother.  I had no clue what to do but without hesitation I picked you up.  I turned you to your side and everything I did seemed to settle you.  For the first time I looked at you clear of thought.  I looked into your eyes and in that moment I fell deeply in love with you.  You will understand one day but loving you was like feeling my life had just begun.  It seemed like I had never spent a moment without you in my life.

You soon fell back to sleep but I didn't set you down.  I simply couldn't let go of you every moment since has been so valuable.  Eventually morning came along with new visitors and return visits of our family and those were the first moments of our life.

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