Evade

Feet placed one in front of the other.
The furious pace kept under wobbly legs.
Lights flicker red and blue with howling sounds.
All blurred by my beating heart.

Gravel crushed against pavement.
A corner turned unexpectedly.
Links of metal clink musically.
The hunt ends the beat fades.

Nadiya is Here

When you were born I thought I would cry and it would be a beautiful moment.  Instead I almost shit myself.  I was absolute chaos.  Momma looked beat up and you were blue gray with your head looking like you'd been beaten with a sack of hammers.  I was terrified and only wanted to tell know that you and Jenny were okay.

Instead the doctor grabbed my attention to cut the umbilical cord and the chaos continued.  You were stripped from your mother.  We won't even talked about what was going on with your mother and nurses seemed like they were clashing into each other.  In hind sight it was all well orchestrated but in the moment I felt like I was gonna be hit by a freight train.

The nurses took you to a table tested your vitals and then gave me an Apgar score.  You got an 8.9.  I didn't expect a score that high and didn't expect a number to be the relieve my anxiety.  By the way a good bit of research for father's who are expecting.  I knew babies above an eight are considered good to go.

Mom was happy but I had seen the miracle and stress of what she had just been through.  So my focus and admiration turned towards her.   For the next few hours a rush of family and friends plowed through the birth suite.  You were quiet and polite the entire time we had visitors. 

Once, the nurses, family and friends all cleared out.  The stress was over, it was time to sleep.  You started with a fuss that quickly turned to a cry but it wasn't enough to wake your mother.  I had no clue what to do but without hesitation I picked you up.  I turned you to your side and everything I did seemed to settle you.  For the first time I looked at you clear of thought.  I looked into your eyes and in that moment I fell deeply in love with you.  You will understand one day but loving you was like feeling my life had just begun.  It seemed like I had never spent a moment without you in my life.

You soon fell back to sleep but I didn't set you down.  I simply couldn't let go of you every moment since has been so valuable.  Eventually morning came along with new visitors and return visits of our family and those were the first moments of our life.

Nadiya's Song

(To the tune of Frere Jacques)

I am baby.
You are daddy.

Lay me down to rest.
Lay me on your chest.

I'm gonna get some sleep now.
I'm gonna get some sleep now.

Catching Z's.
Catching Z''s

I am baby.
You are daddy.

Lay me down to rest.
Lay me on your chest.

I'm gonna get some sleep now.
I'm gonna get some sleep now.

Catching Z's.
Catching Z''s

I don't really know any lullabies but I can recall the tunes so this is what I've been singing to my little girl at night.

Simply Dad

A broken body rises from bed.
The mind never questioning why.

Weary arms fold together.
With the look of loving eyes.

A broken voice sings at night.
A child softens her cries.

Fallen to sleep on my chest.
To my hearts lullaby.

Tug of Dissent

The mouth froths teeth clinched at the bit.
Pounding rumbling the distance drawing near.
Clanking rattling thunderous sounds drowned
out by the roar of a single beating heart.

The wave of man crashes together in death
and opposing ideals.  Blood spills from the
thoughts of conquest and nobility.   Each right
to self and wrong about another.

To live.  To let live.  To embrace mind sets
so strongly others condemned to die.  This is the
beginning of tyranny where freedom strikes
back to survive.  This is war.

Her Birth

Tear drops pause on the corner of my eyes.
Worried about the world surrounding her.
Grains of love pulled from endless beaches
newly discover ocean shores.

Realization she is the land stretching under
the oceans that support my love.  A cleansing
breath taken as I emerge from a world without her
coming to existence.

Waves within me wash every feeling, moment and
reason for being ashore.  Brought into focus under the
sun of  a new world.  The birth the life the mother the soul
all in front of me.

My world focused to a single thought, family.

Baby Girl

A new arrival.
Always in my life.
Only minutes here.
Emptiness of past
Fullness of future
Culminating you
A breath a cry
You are alive
I given meaning